This morning I went for a run in my neighborhood and while I ran I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, The Marie Forleo Podcast. One of the episodes I listened to was called “The ‘90% Rule’ That Puts You 100% in Control (Of Everything)”. The premise of the 90% rule is, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. While this theory is certainly not groundbreaking new information, I believe that attempting to put it into practice can change how you move through the world in a dramatic way.
I want to give a few examples of what I mean, but before I do what I want to make a public service announcement. When I write I am often tortured by the inner monologue running through my head. Today my inner monologue is saying “Emma, everyone is going to think you’re standing on your soapbox telling them about how you and your mom just walk around looking at life through the rosiest glasses and ‘it’s so easy you can do it too!'” Listen, it’s not easy, and we aren’t always that cheerful. I’m not the best at any of this but I find that talking about it and writing about it is very helpful. My hope is that it might be helpful for you as well! So, adios inner monologue! I’ve addressed you, you may exit the building.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming. How many times have you been delayed at an airport, or stuck in traffic, or waiting for a bus that doesn’t seem to be coming in a part of New Jersey that you’ve never been to before during a tornado warning? That last one hasn’t happened to you? Oh weird. Well, all of those things have happened to me and my attitude during those events significantly changed my experience of each one of them. I am not naturally great at finding the silver lining at times when I am frustrated. However, my mom REALLY is and I can tell you that the dichotomy between simmering in anger and frustration versus making the best of a situation is astounding.
If you choose to find the positive aspects of annoying circumstances, it radically changes your experience of those circumstances. Let’s say you are stuck at the airport and you’re frustrated because your flight has been delayed for the 3rd time. Getting angry about it isn’t actually going to affect whether the plane takes off on time (newsflash, you’re not that powerful) so why don’t you relax and enjoy the newfound time you have to read a book you never get to read or drink three glasses of crappy wine?
This morning as I was on my aforementioned run, I got to the track in my local park and there seemed to be some kind of field day event going on. There were probably 150 young kids in the center of the track playing relay games, screaming, laughing and enjoying themselves in the most beautiful childlike way. Up until that moment, my head was still spinning from news of another possible terrorist attack and I was feeling heavy hearted. As I watched the kids playing I realized that there is still so much joy to be found in the world that can’t be taken away from us. Each day it feels like there is another horrific news story bringing more sadness into our lives. But again, if we give ourselves moments to grieve and then continue on in search of beauty and joy, it will make all the difference.
Give it a try! Let me know how it goes!